In the mind of JennyK.

Are you blind or what?

I write music. Lately many of my songs have ended up far from the careful conservative eemotional JennyK blah blah I once kept to. I tend to write about things that really make me mad. "Sticks n Stones" is one of those songs. It's not really about being "disabled" at all. It's about peoples attitudes.
I very often come across individuals that would love to "fix" me. They look at me and I can just feel the pity seeping out of them, a misguided sympathy that I don't care for. A song running through my mind at the moment will deal with much of that. Perhaps I'll get some of that frustration out of me by getting it out there. Recently I spoke to someone that told me I should go and get an eye transplant, I was such a good looking young woman. Well, first of all, they don't do eye transplants. Second; why would my "looking good" have anything to do with my eyesight. Finally; even if something like an eye transplant from a willing donor, which was what I should try to do according to this person, was possible, why the fuck would I want to even ask someone to do that for me. Jeeezzzzus! Sigh. I said straight out that I was happy as it was and why the hell would I want that. Well, the discussion didn't go any further but it made me think. Made me angry and aggravated and baffled by peples ignorance. It is not as if I wouldn't want my sight back and it's not like I'm not keeping somewhat up to date with the research but I want to live for today, not for some distant possibility and empty hopes and expectations. I am happy the way I am and I rarely think about the fact that I am blind except when it causes technical problems for me. Those I can deal with one way or another so what is the big deal? Should I sit back and refuse to live life just because some day I can be fixed and I should wait until then to be happy?

This song is only idea so far and has no name but here is a snippet of the lyrics running through my mind.
"There's nothing wrong with me so why do you want to fucking fix me. Yes, there's a problem here but it sure aint me....""

JennyK July 9 2010

Are blind people stupid?

That might seem like a really stupid question, for most of us. It is however the one question where everybody would immediately say: No, but of course not. yet in the same breath treat you like a child or someone mentally challenged. Ignorance? Is it that simple?
How come a clerk in a department store turns to the sighted guide to ask: Does she sign her own signature?.
That is only one example out of many and most definitely not the worst. Not even close. I mean, really. How come that the sighted get embarrassed when a blind person stumbles on an uneven sidewalk but never even remembers the stumble he/she made thirty seconds earlier despite perfect eye-sight.? Lots of people stumble on uneven surfaces. Why is it more embarrassing when a blind person does it?

Are blind people deaf?

Well, of course not. Naturally there are blind people that are also deaf but then we are getting into something totally different. Helen Keller, was she an idiot? I think NOT! I am losing track of my subject though.
My next question would be: Why do sighted people think that blind people can't hear them talking? Personally I have excellent hearing for which I am very grateful and I am extra sensitive to people whispering right behind me in line at the store. Perhaps something to keep in mind eh?
I think I will leave it at that for the moment.
Until something pisses me off again that is.

Never say you can't. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy and in the end self-destructive.

Social networking.

Nothing wrong with that is there?
I never really did get into the mobile phone text messaging although I could have. There was always something better to do than yapping to people in trunkated writing.
Never saw anything wrong with picking up the phone. Oh, it was fun and sending someone an SMS with a really nasty crude joke when they are busy at work is pure fun.
Chatting online... sure, I have nothing against that now that I have the software that will enable me to do it with out too much frustrations.
Online gaming was never my cup of tea as I was too slow picking up the skills so when I finally dared to venture out in the virtual death glory that was Unreal or Quake, I didn't last a minute. HEY, Let's blast the newbbie!!..
Sigh!
I think I'm getting too old for facebook or is that only me? Facebook by the way is useless crap in my opinion. I did have an account and when friends from back home started contacting me via facebook wanting me to interact I gave it a try. Two days of utter frustration and deep disappointment caused me to cancel my account and I made a promise never to visit that site again. It is not for everyone and that is that. Accessibility is apparently not their cup of tea. But hey, it's their loss.
I really hate YouTube. Never bothered with MySpace. I would never have installed ITunes if my step-son hadn't needed it. I do the blog thing now and I even update my website often enough but Twitter???
Yes, I can be followed on Twitter but I have not made any updates in some time. Seems to be the new spam heaven to me. It's a great tool despite that and because of the open source nature of the whole twitter thing, it is also quite accessible. follow me on Twitter.
Check out what it's all about for yourself here.
To send my tweets I now use Qwitter. It is based on Jawter that did not work as well in my opinion. Anyways, it is very simple and I have few complaints. It works with Freedom scientific Jaws screen reader and is thus not a stand alone program.
Check out Quitter on Qwitter-client.net.

Can blind people play games?

Thankfully, visually stunnning games are not the only games around. I sure miss those. Even the slightly less visually stunning ones had a certain look and feel about them that I remember still. I loved.. let's see, "Doom" when it first took over our 486. I remember when a colleague from work tried it out on a visit, playing with a joystick and speakers; Shriek! OH MY GOD! There's pigs in the walls!!! while waving the joystick around uselessly in the air ten inches above the desk as a true beginner in full panic.
My visual gaming ended around TombRaider 4 Angel of Darkness and Alone in the dark 4. Those were the ones I couldn't finish.
I admit, there's a twinge of... something as I write this so let's just leave that alone for now.

Audio Games.

There are lots of them. Things are happening in this area both when it comes to adapting popular games to audio, for example:
The AGRIP Project / Accessible Quake. and interesting projects, for example the creation of a virtual audio environment, i.e portable equipment, a dedicated area with sensors and what not to create a "true" audio environment.
I've been hunting for the links but I'll have to look some more.
Sounds like fun to me, walking around on the lawn, pointing and blasting monsters out of existance with a virtual plasma gun. Hm, wonder if they could make those with real feedback.....
Ok, stop your dreaming. Let's get back to business.
Audiogames. Lots of them.

Can blind people make games?

Surely they can. The way I've done that is by writing Interactive fiction as I have an interest in both writing and programming. See my Interactive fiction page.
I can't say the there are many options if you don't have the hang of programming for real. I really don't so I'm still just sniffing the edges of what I might be able to do. I have hopes and there are indications that things are happening in this area.
What caught my eye, hmm pardon the pun, was however the Audio Game maker.

Audio Game Maker.

I am hoping, crossing my fingers and all that. I really hope that this project will bloom. The project was effectively but thankfully temporarily stalled in it's progress by a fire in the building they were in and they had to find a new place. The Audio Game maker Beta is available to download for anyone that is interested.
I have tried the beta and it is really something. I've put it on the shelf for a while as the music takes priority but I'm getting the itch to start it up again. Audio Game Maker Home Page.
Downloads, Manual, forums and more.

Can blind people produce music?

Does the bear shit in the woods? I am sure there are many ways to do it and I am no expert. I have found my way and that is what I'm sharing with you here. I don't read braille which seems to be an advantage if classically trained. Which I am not. Hrmmm.

The stuff you will need.

Cakewalk Sonar. Version 6.2 in my case.
Jaws. Versions 9 and 10 for sure as I've tested them both with Sonar.
JSonar. Version compatible with the Sonar version i.e v6 for Sonar 6 etc.
HotSpotClicker. Stick to the latest release.

Using Cakewalk Sonar and Freedom Scientific jaws is the first step. Personally I use Sonar Producer edition 6.2 and Jaws 10.
To really make it work you will need JSonar which is a set of Jaws scripts for Sonar included in one simple installation. For added accessibility with Cakewalk effects used in Sonar you will also need HotSpotClicker. This clever program uses the mouse cursor to click on pre-defined areas of otherwise inaccessible dialogs.
Additional sets for HSC can be downloaded and added to the ones installed by the installer.
JSonar.
On the JSonar page you will also find the info you need on HSC.

QWS Free Midi Sequencer. Fully accessible.

This is the perfect choice if you work with pure Midi composing and editing. A multi track Midi sequencer that is written from scratch by someone who knows how it should work. The Bank and patch selection is easy, editing easy and there's nothing unnecessary or flashy here.
Excellent work James Bowden.
With a couple of extra applications, I only learned this today, you can also include SoftSynths/VST in QWS.
About Quick Windows Sequencer, downloads and more.

But it seems so complicated!

It is, but why would you let that stop you?

Burn some cash!

Or punch in your credit card number. That's probably better in the long run for the health of your PC. ILA Independent living aids. Gadgets, assistive products, fun stuff. All you can ever need to feel more independant in your every day life.
Everything from wireless talking meat thermometers to Braille games and sunglasses. Audible.com Buy audio books online. Get the books that you want downloaded straight to your IPod or Zen Stone or where ever. Definitely worth the monthly fee. I do have opinions about their website but I won't bitch about that here. It is accessible, no doubt about that but not half as easy to navigate as it could be.